Buzzword Bingo, The Sequel

Buzzword Bingo, The Sequel

15 years is more than enough time for a sequel.

More than 15 years ago, in the January 2007 issue of our 60-Second Read, *ThinkOutsidethe Buzzword*, we featured several popular consultant terms (a.k.a. jargon) along with their alleged as well as their true meaning.

Well 15 years is certainly more than enough time for a new batch to flourish.  So here’s the sequel:

Buzzword: “Take this offline” (to deal with separately and later)
Example: (said with a friendly, gracious tone) “Bob, let’s not tie up the conference call with this issue right now. Why don’t we take this offline.”
Real meaning: “You have no clue how steamed I am by what you’ve just said, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop your yapping right now.”

Buzzword: “Value-added” (to enhance the value of something, typically at no or less-than-expected cost)
Example: “Our knowledge workers provide value-added solutions by thinking outside the box.”
Real meaning: “We’re not totally certain how you, the customer, define value; so we hope this smoke screen will stop you from asking us for more details.”

Buzzword: “Does that make sense?” (usually said following a pause and after a lengthy explanation to obtain customer agreement)
Example: “…and so to summarize, the final state is one of over-intensified near-simultaneous market saturation and de-coupling……Does that make sense?”
Real meaning: “I’ve been speaking for so long now trying to finagle an answer to your question, that I’ve truly forgotten what you asked and/or what I’ve just said. I could use some help here; do you believe what I’ve just spewed forth?”

Buzzword: Learnings [note, you must make “learning” plural, otherwise it’s less “impactful”] (typically used following a good or negative outcome, in the hope that something was learned as result, and that said knowledge can later be incorporated into similar activities)
Example: “Hey Mary, notwithstanding the fact that the project was a complete and utter failure, what are the most strategic learnings?”
Real meaning: “In our value-added approach to work, it’s untenable for our people to have just learning. Our ROI focus mandates that our solutions yield multiple learnings.”

Buzzword:Leverage (to benefit from, especially by reducing the time or cost required to complete future work)
Example: “Souhel, how can we leverage the value-added learnings from the recent Frammus project for the upcoming Blammus project?”
Real meaning: “Hey Souhel, know any good shortcuts for getting the Blammus project done? I’m tired.”

Buzzword: “Move the needle” (to have significant impact)
Example: “Our impactful, out-of-the box solutions to your supply chain issues will certainly move the needle.”
Real meaning: “I kinda think we can help you, but please, don’t ask me to articulate or provide real details as to how. How about you just take it on faith, okay?”

Buzzword: Deeper dive / Peel the onion (to increase the value-added learnings by conducting a more rigorous analysis)
Example: “Ultimately, we’ll need to do a deeper dive on the matter [or peel the onion] in order to ascertain our strategic next steps.”
Real meaning: “Everything we’ve tried to-date has failed, and I have no clue what to do next.  So now I’ll put on my dancing shoes, and play for time.  Cue the music.”